The Easiest Way to Face your Fears

You can face your fears easily by talking to the part of you that’s afraid.

Doing this requires stepping back from the part. Let me explain.

Face your fears by realizing not all of you is afraid.

Not all of you is afraid. A part of you is. The parts model of psychology can come to your rescue. You also have curious and courageous parts. And parts that are disinterested as well.  You have many facets to your identity and this is 100% normal. You can face your fears painlessly by leveraging this concept.

Let’s say you’re afraid of speaking up, of voicing your opinion. A part of you is scared of being criticized, or of conflict. In the moment, that part of you takes over and you do it’s bidding. You shrink, clam up, and hold back your opinion.

It’s just a part of you. Other parts of you are less afraid, or not afraid at all. But the part in question has powerful reasons it refuses to allow you to speak up.

Listen.

Before you decide if this argument is valid, listen to yourself Ask yourself, “Is there a part of me that’s afraid to speak up?”

Listen. Feel. Look inside.

If you’re like so many of us the part of you that holds onto the fear will make itself known. Congratulations! You’ve just faced your fear by calling on the part of you that’s afraid. Witnessing the part of you that’s afraid puts the fear in a contained framework. It’s no longer hijacking your brain. You can see it more objectively. Better, yet, the parts model is such an accurate representation of common experience.

In other words, it’s true. Part of you is indeed afraid and this part of you is making you anxious. It’s also true, however, that you have other aspects of your personality that you can draw upon. You’re not 100% afraid as a person. In many ways, you and I are not whole people at all. We’re a collection of various parts. You can face your fears by facing the afraid part of you and thus containing it a bit.

Face your fears systematically.

Once you get this concept, you can not only face fears but any issue that bothers you. Almost any problem can be reasonably attributed to a part of you that’s worried, scared, angry, or upset in some manner. If you’ll allow for this, you can begin a healthy process of negotiating and healing these elements of your psyche. This is what Psychevolution is all about.

Anxiety, depression, weight loss, and many issues can be dealt with using the parts model. It’s an accurate, handy, and above all easier way to do personal development work.

Wholeness is the Most Overrated Concept in Personal Development

Wholeness.

Everyone wants to be whole, a singular, integrated person with no inner conflict. We all want to be just me. A simple, undivided human being. Oh, but we want more than that, don’t we?

We want to glide through life, emanating spiritual energy from our core – one nature, the universe, and whatever lay beyond our current realm of consciousness. We want to flow through a life filled with cosmic energy, compassion and wisdom and positivity oozing from our very pores. Life would be so easy if we live in these blissful states 24/7, wouldn’t it?

I want that, for sure. I don’t have it. No one does, not even the Dalai Lama, who gets angry at his staff on a regular basis and doesn’t even have a goal to achieve ultimate inner peace and quiet. He says total inner peace is not achievable, so he wouldn’t waste his time trying. And the rest of us are still going for super galactic oneness?

What if we started from a different place?

One with fantastic potential but more in line with the daily reality we all live.

That place might look like this:

You’re not whole. You never will be a fully integrated person. Stop trying to achieve oneness of mind, body, and spirit. Not only is oneness not aligned with your nature, but the expectation of achieving such an unlikely state (beyond a few minutes at a time) will add frustration and angst to your life.

I’m not being one of the cynical realists who only wants to prove that nothing good can happen in life. Life is wonderful. We can live it to the fullest! No one is trying to hit you with tough love or a cold, hard slap in the face.

wholeness vs. parts psychologyThis is merely a different paradigm.

One that suggests we all start where we are, which is undeniably divided.

Think it through and check the resource links below, which prove that our:

• Brains are divided, with parts that fight each other.
• Psyche is divided, with unconscious processes ruling the roost.
• Daily experience is a back-and-forth process between various competing mindsets.

The fact that we all experience life through competing parts of our brain, mind, and body is nearly undeniable when you look at the evidence. Why then, don’t we embrace a psychology that aligns with reality?