Adam (pseudonym) was obsessed with death.
Not consciously, although he’d learned to live with the unconscious predictions of death. A silent assassin followed Adam around during his days. He’d notice the figure of a man with a rifle pointed at him…just on the edge of awareness. This happened every day. Around every corner, some part of Adam expected to be killed.
Beyond the mysterious rifleman, Adam frequently lamented death. Why did he have to die? He longed to live forever. This longing only heightened his fear of death.
Adam knew he’d had a rough childhood. It was very rough indeed. But He told himself there were people in this world who had it much worse. His life was never in jeopardy while growing up. Why all the fuss?
It never occurred to Adam that a part of him did experience a constant threat of death during childhood. The physical and verbal abuse he endured was suppressed. Now, 25 years later, the death part of Adam was alive and well, actively influencing his thoughts and decisions on a daily basis.
In fact, the death part inspired all manner of inner dynamics.