Did you know that unresolved grief wears many faces?
People with unresolved grief often seek grief coaching because they look at unresolved grief as a loss of life. However, there are many faces to look at here. The loss of a loved one, the loss of a pet, a bad break up you had with your significant other, an argument with a family member, a friendship split, etc.
Death is not the end-all, be-all for grief. Grief pushes the limits of our emotions. It toys with our minds and makes us feel like there is nothing we can do about it. Chronic grief can turn into depression. It makes us second guess who we are and why we are here in the first place. Unresolved grief can control and manipulate us into believing anything. Also, it could wreak havoc on our lives if it is left unresolved.
When a person goes through something that takes their emotions on a whirlwind adventure (and I don’t mean the good kind!) of doubt, sadness, misery and second-guessing this could be considered grief as well.
How to face the unresolved grief
The one thing people mainly do to combat grief is getting busy on something. This is a great way to suppress the grief for a while. However, the grief will come creeping back up on you like gangbusters ready to pounce on you faster than a cheetah wanting to feed her hungry babies.
In the beginning, forgetting about your grief and ignoring it will help you in the short term but will not solve the problem at all. As people, we seem to do this step first. Even though we all know this will not make it go away, we seem to do this to gain momentary relief because the pain is so strong.
I have a question for you. However, I want you to internalize this thought with every fiber of your being. Instead of suppressing the very thing you do not want, how about facing that thing head-on? I know what you’re thinking, well if I do that, I will have uncomfortable pain and anguish. If I do that, I will be unhappy and miserable, who wants that?
Let me give you a secret no one ever told me. Instead of suppressing the unresolved grief face it head-on! If you face it head-on right in the beginning, then it will be resolved, and you could move on with your life. One problem, one uncomfortable moment, one solution, and it’s solved.
That’s way better than having a problem haunting you for years and suppressing it repeatedly until you feel like you’re going crazy!